Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

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EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Where's the Civil War everyone on the left said would happen?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

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I see through liars

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

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I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I can count

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Do all you people that took the "jab" feel lied to yet?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand how hurricane paths work

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Are there any real-life examples of prisoners who escaped from hospitals and were never caught?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t buy bullshit

I know who the president of Turkey really is

How do you have intercourse with a girl who can remember you for a long time?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

What are some dirty secrets of Indian (Bollywood, etc.) actors and actresses?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Did you ever receive genuine remarks from a medium regarding your deceased relative with information that the medium could never normally know?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I want to touch my sister’s boobs. What do I say?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t cotton to rapists

I can read

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If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I have a reading level above third grade

I actually pay taxes